Happy Anniversary

One year ago, this Memorial Day weekend, I spent it with Orson, the guy who I thought had it all only to disappear and hence the MAIN reason I started this blog.  I declared Mancation after this alleged nice guy pull the wool over my eyes.  It still hurts a year later. We touch base seldomly via email or text but it will never be the same.  Should the opportunity come that we are face to face, I can't say I would or wouldn't say anything to the man who hurt me.

This Memorial Day weekend is spent busy with school stuff and projects but doesn't always keep the mind off what is deep inside.  I put "he who doesn't have a name yet" on probation of my friendship as he has delusions of what it is 'we' are, or what I want from him. I want nothing remember, asshole, I told you to your face a month ago. Oh, and about 8 months before that. I stand by it.  I especially question even wanting your "friendship" as you are a crap friend.  You go keep on saying whatever it is you need to say to make yourself feel important or desired. I don't want you.  I may have once thought I did but finally woke the fuck up to know that I didn't.  Don't. Ever.  I also think you're a hypocrite.  You tell others these tales when if I really called you out, I would notify them of everything you ever said to me especially - in the last month.  So if it's awkward for you, it's only due to your on projection on the situation.  You want things to work with your girflriend. I want someone who isn't you. I want a man who isn't going to play games in his late 30's.  You're on probation, and frankly sweetheart, I'm not sure there's a 'get out of jail' card.

Secondly, Guy I Used To Date called me today.  Didn't leave a message.  Since my last (mistaken) phone call with him, I regretted letting that energy back into my life.  He has shown his true colors time and time again so I don't know why I would think I'm looking at different rainbow.  I ran into him the other day and went about my business but he made a point to come up and wish me "a great weekend."  Is that why you're calling?

Biggie = I'm bored.