12 Things That Men Want in a Woman

From SINGLE-ish by John Ortved

I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching “Lost.” And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed - like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms, like a damned Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me. Even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.  - Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

I probably quote 30 Rock too much. The above was Liz Lemon’s impromptu speech to her “Singles Dodgeball” competitor on last week’s episode (his response: “You make much English. This is fun alcoholics meeting.”) It’s stuck in my head, not just because it was the best moment in prime time, because it was a real-ish list, full of flaws, fantasies and freshness. It caused me to poll some of my guy friends, and come up with a list of our own:

We want someone who will be monogamous and nice to our mother.

And we want someone will not make us go with them to musicals, or shopping, or the grocery store. Though the zoo is fine. We kind of like the zoo.

We want someone who thinks it’s hot that we go to boxing class, but who will think it’s “mature” when we don’t fight people who start sh*t when we’re out.

We want someone who will tell us that size doesn’t matter, but will tell us how big we are when we’re doing it.

We want someone who will buy both Sea Salt and Vinegar and Mesquite BBQ Miss Vickies chips when we stop for gas, because she knows we can never decide between them.

We want someone who can make fun of us, and others, and get a real laugh.

We want someone who pays for things occasionally, things like trips, and beers, and candy.

We want someone with no expectations, who doesn’t cling to us like a burr and has her own life and likes it that we do too.

We want someone. Not just anyone. For a while. And then longer.

Does this sound like any guys you know? What is it your guy wants?