RUN! don't walk...

Okay, while it's hot and summertime, I might have entertained little twenty-something Ventiseis, however, my instincts are NEVER wrong.  Like clockwork, Venti texted me Monday night (that's 3-4 days after seeing him last).  I knew it was him even when it beeped.

"Good weekend?" 8:07p
Now you know from my previous posting of Single-ish how annoying that is for a girl to get.  I responded briefly, and included a "and you?"
(And I quote) "Eh, in a funk, trying to figure out direction in my life, all without affecting my summer." 
I stared at my phone's screen like I wasn't really reading this.  If you're on the dating track you don't tell someone you're lost. Just pull over and ask for directions or just keep driving, you know? I couldn't respond.  I didn't and wasn't sure I wanted to respond.  Well, he quickly sent another message while I pondered.
"Making goals for the rest of the year..."

Hmm, yes way to follow it up with something semi-positive so you don't sound so dopey. My response, "Yes I remember you telling me this.  Hang in there, you don't have to figure it all out today." 
"Thx, I know, it all takes time.  Learning that the hard way." 
"Nothing BUT time..."
"Lol." 

No, dude, it's not funny. I wasn't being funny.  While we all get a little lost in life, or question if we are where we're supposed to be going, or wonder why things aren't as you wish they would be; some things in life are worth laughing about, but that last LOL was a defense mechanism (and I've always loathed the overuse of LOL. Always!).  Alas, poor twenty-something, I know this story all too well.  All the best to you!

Mancation Status: to quote my BFF "RUN, Bradshaw, RUN!"

When re-telling of my not-date to my girls, Cedes asked if I attached a picture of the hanging cat in my text message.  I didn't have that capability so I'm attaching it to this blog post cause THAT IS funny!!

Master-dater???

We've been talking about getting a drink for 2 weeks and finally settled on a night for our 'not-date.'  I call it a "not" date because he didn't pick me up, rather we met at a bar up the street from where we both live. Veintiséis, here's his story: he's 26, hence the name, which in turn (because I never use anyone's real name on this blog) is a rip-off of Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson.  Those of my readers who aren't sports-minded, this Cincinnati Bengals' wide receiver (that's NFL) changed his name LEGALLY to Ochocino, the number that he bears on his jersey.  So I found it only fitting to call my new subject Veintiséis in honor of Chad, and of this twenty-something's age. Also, it's a shout out to Herbie the Love Bug, remember that Disney classic or am I dating myself?  The little boy called Herbie "Ocho" because the number on his car -53- added up to eight!!  Back to my not-date with Veinti (for short)...


Here's the GOOD: 

• He's super cute (which I did remembered from when we met).  Great smile (which I also remembered from when we met) and smart (about technology-ish stuff). 
• He has a great voice, and laugh, that I wouldn't have remembered since our meeting becauseVeinti only texts, doesn't call.  
• I had a good time. However, I felt like there were a couple of red flags - or perhaps we should use cards like in the game of soccer (yellow cards serve as caution, while red cards usually send a player off the field) - that I just tried to shrug off - for now. 
• Veinti walked me to my car, gave me a kiss on the cheek and a gigantic hug.  That's completely acceptable to me on a first "not date", some may read that as he's not into me.  Or if I were really into him, I might be asking, "Why didn't the bugger try to kiss me?"  

Here's what NOT to do, aka why you're not a Master Dater:

• Veinti told me that 2010 has been his year to date; he's been dating a lot,but that he's "not looking for a serious relationship". I didn't say much on that because is that a defensive thing Or is that truly how he feels?
• He said he blew his last 3-week thing by "making plans."  "A guy should never start planning," he said nervously, running his hands through his hair, "and I got totally destroyed."  WAIT, this guy got destroyed in 3 weeks, no, not 3 months, but isn't looking for anything serious??? Something is not right there.
• I listened to him rant about dating, since 2010 is making him an expert ("Master Dater") on dating, or possibly what not to do. He apologized once again for the suggestive texts and said, "There comes a time when you have to break your cycle of what you keep doing, you know?"  Do guys normally aknowledge their shortcomings or behavioral bafflings?  
• I felt like he was a the girl in the situation.  But I let him pick up the tab (I mean, for his crazy rants and my having to suffer through them).  
• He wanted to come over to my house to drink wine and I say politely, "No." (hoping my eyes weren't bugging out of my head in surprise) Seriously?  He may not be looking for a serious relationship, but I'm not looking to be someone's hook up, I'm looking for more than that.   

Ah, is this a case of twenty-somethings vs. thirty-somethings. I told my friends despite the red flags (or cards) that I would be open for a second meeting, trying to stay open-minded, just to have fun and meet someone knew.  I guess time will tell. Will I get that text message?  I did mention to him in our meeting, that I prefer phone calls, we'll see if Veinti gets it.  My friends had these thoughts:

BFF: "He’s too young.  I would just look at it as something to do for the meantime."

Miss J: "It definitely sounds like it won't go anywhere because he pretty much told you on the first not date.  I wonder what happened with the 3 week situation.  3 weeks is a such a short time to be destroyed, especially now considering that most guys take their sweet ass time with dating.  I don't even get the loving to be with a girl that absolutely destroys him."


Mancation Status:  On the Beach, under the umbrella

Getting Over That Hill...

BACKSTORY:  Mac and I had talked earlier in the week, when he actually called  to see what I was up to for the weekend.  In what was the longest round of what I'm doing this weekend and will he ask me out, he says, "So you'll be in the valley on Saturday?  Perhaps me, Shadow, and you, or just you and me can meet up for a drink?"  Now for a man in his 40s, I don't know what I need the buddy system, but I told him it probably wouldn't be a problem for him to meet up with us after our dinner is over.  So he says, "Great, I'm going to keep Saturday night open." And I told him that I would be in touch.  I left him a voicemail the day of, perhaps I waited too long with the call back but it was a hectic week with my mom being in town.


Continuation of my friend's 40th birthday...after many adult beverages (and tequila shots - which is uncharacteristic of me), and no phone call or voicemail, I gave up on the idea that Mac was coming to the after party.  


The biggest turn of events - "The Hill" - didn't occur until the party was officially over, I will quote a Spanish proverb to best summerize, "What the fool does in the end, the wise do in the beginning."  Months after (again) not speaking to my platonic pal, we exchanged words after successfully - with the help of my friends -staying apart all night.  I am sure I looked foolish but having learned once again I should have walked away, and stayed away a long, long time ago.  However, I'd rather look foolish to finally learn to be wiser.  This event made me question a lot and bring things to perspective - or a newer perspective (again with a little help from my friends).  Things I've always known: I can't make someone they are not. I can't make someone into being that type of person I need them to be. I don't need another guy friend in my life, I have some really great ones who are far better friends than this pal was. Also, I am sick of giving people the benefit of the doubt when their past behavior already predicted how this will turn out (thanks Dr. Phil).  Done.  And Scene.  


Mancation Status: Don't make something out of nothing, and nothing into something.

I'm With the DJ

I went to a friend's 40th birthday over the Holiday weekend. She had a blown out event at a nearby venue complete with sit down dinner, tent, DJ, and open bar (all night).  Not one to shy away from the dance floor, I repeatedly made my way to the middle-aged man behind the table for requests. Upon my I-lost-count return to sir DJ, he says to me, "You're so pretty."  I was beyond flattered and told him, "That's the best compliment, thank you, and it totally made my night."

As the outside portion of the party ended and the DJ began packing up his gear around 10pm, I went over to compliment him on a job well done. (I firmly believe in compliment for compliment).   He says, "If I wasn't married, the things I'd do."  I was a bit taken aback by that but I'm going to go out on a limb and take the compliment from this mystery man who is devoted to his wife.