I look forward to a new year. What it entails. What it surprises me with. What it disappoints me with, well I take that back I don't want any more disappointment. I have said it time and time again that I don't believe everyone is an a-hole, there's got to be a good guy out there! Well, I'm also sick of being the "nice" girl and promise myself that 2010 will be different in choices I make and people I meet or even consider giving the time of day.
I have made the mistake with my giant heart of letting people (back) into my life who don't add to it only add frustration. I'm done. I'm sick of being nice and forgiving when I know I'll never be able to forget. Ever. I don't like carrying the hurt around with me, I just want it to release into some other world. Perhaps the "dark Bradshaw" is now ready to move on and return to me with hope for a better outcome. This LA Bradshaw needs a debut and with valor. I'm still me but I miss the original.
In this past year I couldn't be happier I took a mancation as it allowed me to talk to me and find out what I need and who I am looking for and get even closer to my girlfriends, near and far. There's so much love in my life that I often question if there's room for someone new but I know there is and I can't wait. I wish for every tear I had shed spares my heart another blunder. I sit, wrapped in a blanket by the Christmas tree at my parents house, writing this and can't help but marvel of what will life give me in 2010?
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