Unagi...in Person

Thursday I was heading into the valley for a friend's birthday drinks. Ex Factor texts me “At Peal Jam”. I say, "Cool, have fun, safe travels back." I wrap up my drinks w/ my friends and head home. I start working and my phone beeps. It's him, "Firefly..." Now the weekend before he had texted me that and I didn't know that he was inviting me there." I say, "Is that an invitation this time?" He says, "We're heading there now, let's go!" I decide to change back into my going out clothes and drive back to the valley. Keep in mind the whole time I’m driving there I’m repeating to myself “Why am I going?” Upon exiting my car and knowing I look as good as I can and will stick to my boundaries, I walk in the door and he's the first person you see. He flips around and leaps up to practically tackle me. Then says that's not the entrance he wanted and could I re-enter. As an actor, I obliged. I agreed to only have 1 drink and get the F out of there. He's hugging on me and telling me how great I look. Loves my dark hair but he's "always been partial to brunettes." Really? I was blonde when he met me and his current GF that he's moving in with is blonde. He's still the jolly man I knew. But he was the same guy in that he doesn't really take care of himself. He had a full beard, shaggy long hair, wearing some trucker hat and a flannel. Hasn't evolved much. His friends leave and then he looks at me. I say, "I'll drop you off, it's on my way home." We get in my car and he's like "Am I really here with you? In your car? This is great!" We stop by 7-11 to pick up some water for him while he packs cause he hasn’t' packed everything...again leaving things until the 11th hour (like in meeting me the night before he leaves). He asks me to come take a look to assess the situation and see if need anything.

Parking the car and walking up to his apartment was like not one day had passed. He opened the gate and walked the path of the pool like we had 4 years prior without a flinch, without a thought. Sense memory or repetition had taken over. Just walking the path to his apartment was tripping me out. It smelled the same from what I remember. He had the curtains and shower curtain I hung with him still up. I agree to help him for an hour, but all I did was pull out his posters from their frames and roll them up into canisters. I did them all in an hour and he was like 'Why does time fly with you and with everyone else it just ticks by?" I was very strong and kept my boundaries despite him making comments here and there and when I'd ask him about his GF, he would clam up. At one point he tackles me to the ground, and spooned up on me says, "I love you. It's been great seeing you." He kicks into high gear of packing mode, and I just want to get out. He walks me to my car like he used to and we kiss each other on the cheeks. He says, "Please keep me posted on everything going on with you." Then comes face to face with me without touching and air kisses me - technically that is not a kiss and you won't get in trouble with your GF.

I can't help but feel sorry for her, you know her. I don’t know what kind of number this guy is going to do on her or if it was just his last ditch effort to say good bye to his life here while he goes to settle down with her. She had the life I thought I wanted but he hasn't changed, which is good and bad. I didn't get hurt by it cause I was in a good (and a little bad) place but it did show me how far I've come. I had to say good bye despite whatever reason. Even the drive there to meet him I was saying out loud "Why am I going? … Because I have to."

Man Date: BEACH 
Glad I went. I knew I was over him but it made me anxious to meet the better next option. I’m never cynical, always the optimist.