He's Just Not That Into You If...

....he's NOT asking you out! 

"Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out"- Greg Behrendt, author He's Just Not That Into You.

IT'S SO SIMPLE! When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be.

WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED:

* An excuse is a polite rejection.
* Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.
* If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
* Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.
* Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

While I don't (usually) quote a book like this for my blog, it is this simple.  If a guy likes you, HE will find a way to be with you, call you, hug you, kiss you, and so on and so on... As previously mentioned, Mac finally called but there was no follow through to set up plans.  That's no good.

Mac: a 44 year old man, owns his own home, runs a successful business.  Capable of a relationship as he mentioned being in a 5 year relationship previously (not sure when).  Although, I can't help but go with my instinct from when I first met him, a house in the hills that he only leaves to work, i.e. like a man in his log cabin in sheer seclusion.  Hmm.  Took him 5 days to call me after getting my number.

Veintiséis:  a 26 year old guy, who lives with roommates in the valley, works in Marketing, is smart (self-proclaimed geek) who is well-traveled.  Met at a bar on a Wednesday night (that I could have been out with Mac).  Gave him my number before leaving.  He texted me the next day -less than 24 hours after meeting. 


Who wins in this situation?? 

Veintiséis!  Here's why: 

Met Wednesday night at Firefly.  We parted ways around 1:30-2am.  He texted me the very next day around 7:30pm. 

LESS THAN 24 HOURS AFTER MEETING!! That's how you know if a guy is serious or going to play guy-games (i.e. wait the 2 days; then shoot a text by the next week asking how my weekend was; or never call or contact me at all). Now, though I appreciate this guy delivered on some level, I would have preferred a phone call but I'm not trying to be picky. I text him back telling him how nice it was to meet him as well and we shoot a few more texts back and forth.  

I was out with Cedes, Shadow, Miss J and some other girls.  I kept it brief but he was quick and witty.    Clearly reading a hint of an invite in there, I simply say, "Perhaps..."  His reply, "Sounds good." followed with, "Let me know which night is good for you."  Okay, not only was the hint followed up with a question, I think I was surprised by his instant response.  "Weekend or Week night?"  I ask.  He says,"Either works for me."  That was around 2pm on a Friday.  I didn't respond to the last text because basically he told me that he's available, when I'm available.   Going on about my night when my phone beeps at 6:45pm- just as I'm about to update my blog.  He says, "O, are you asking or telling me?"  (about 5 hours after his last text)  I find this amusing because text message is so clear (sarcasm).  I say, "I was asking what your social calendar was like to plan accordingly."  

Even if in modern times he asked me out via text message, he still asked and within 48 hours of having met me.  That stands for something in my book. 

Here's why I'm not sure if he "wins": He texted me around 11am to root for USA.  I asked if they won or scored?  He replies with "Fail, you're not watching are you?" Nope. Not watching.  He continues to text me throughout the whole game until it's over.  I think it's part eager, part cute...UNTIL after USA loses he texts how he's drunk.  Most people watching the World Cup are, but tells me how "he can do things" that most guys can't."  The next 2 text messages are gibberish because he's clearly wasted to me now.  

I don't respond.  He says, "I'm drunk, I'm really sorry."  I don't respond.  "Please ignore, I'm drunk. I'm sorry."  I just text with, "Ok" because I don't know what else to say cause apparently I was going to get a text message every hour saying sorry.  The next morning, literally 10:15am, exhausted as I didn't get in until 530am I finally look at my vibrating phone which woke me, "I apologize for that comment.  Hope you had a fantastic Sunday!!!!" 

Now, how do you take this?  Nice that he apologized sober?  Desperate for approval for his poor decision making - text messaging skills?  My girls told me I should give him a shot even after the comments as he apologized immediately.  I asked a guy and his opinion was, "Wow!  Obviously that behavior worked with some girl along the way so he thinks it's okay."  Hmm.  When I shared with my girls the morning apology they had varying reactions.

Miss J: "Damn! He's SPRUNG.  You will definitely see him tomorrow." 
Cedes:: "Did you write back?"
Shadow: "Well that was nice of him to say.  Will you still go for one date? I think one date is worth it with him.  Even though his maturity level shined bright..."

I am on the fence.  He had redeeming qualities with follow through and delivering, and I'm not trying to be a prude or anything, but it was a turn off for me.  How can you dirty talk to me before even us having a first date?  And perhaps that's all the game you got so you decided to brag about it ahead of time?  I'll keep you posted.