Signs He's Undateable

An excerpt from US Magazine, by Ericka Souter

Not even celebs can get away with style slipups in the new book Undateable.

HE WEARS TIGHTY WHITIES
Boyish briefs are a buzzkill, solo or peeking out of a waistband.  Ellen Rakieten (author), "invest in boxers or boxer briefs."
(I find tighty whities kinda cute and sweet, but maybe that's just me).

HE STRUTS HIS STUFF IN SPANDEX
Some things are best kept under wraps, like, say,  a man's package.  "Women don't want to see all that."  Only avid cyclists can wear these shorts.

HE'S GOT A CHEWBACCA BACK
Bare skin that resembles a mohair sweater belongs in the primate cage at the local zoo.  "Men should maintain themselves like we do,"  "They should wax or keep it hidden."

HE'S HAD BAD JEANS
Ripped jeans are not for starlets, not grown men.  Before leaving the house, he should ask, "Do these jeans make me look lame?"

HE HOLSTERS HIS PHONE
The message is clear: the Bachelor has bad taste.  "Anything clipped on including a tie, is dorky."  "We all have calls coming in, but your phone shouldn't be strapped to your like a gun."
(This I couldn't agree with more.  I actually thought guys stopped holstering their phones back in the 90s, i.e. my ex boyfriend in college.  Yes, it was dorky then, and glad others still think it is.  No one is that important to have it strapped to their belt loop or pocket - not even Spielberg, etc.)

MORE DEAL BREAKS

Grousing abougt the cost of a meal or neglecting to tip is a no-no.  "You don't need to be swimming in cash, but don't drive 10 blocks to avoid a $7 valet charge and force your date to walk in heels."
(Amen)

Being a mama's boy isn't sexy.  "Spending 45 minutes talking about how your mother is a great gal is really, really, really bad."  After a certain age, it's creepy, not endearing.

Looking overly buff, too tan and extra gelled may work for the guys of Jersey Shore.  But fo rhte rest of the species, not so much.  "It says, 'I'm a huge diva'."

Going shirtless isn't a good idea, even if you have six-pack abs.  "Save it for the beach, shower or your bed." "Women wan ta little civility."

Using phrases like bee-yatcdh, buttload, chillaxin', knockers or peace out.  Cool slang? No. A major turnoff? Yes.