Miss J sent me this article from Glamour's blogger Single-ish, which is a go-to of what is really going on with women, and some men too. Allow me to share:
“I just don’t understand what happened,” cried my friend after meeting the guy of her dreams. “...now he's just…vanished.” I told her to just forget it and move on, but what she did instead might surprise you…(Friend met the guy while visiting family in Phoenix, and despite the distance, she felt sure that they’d keep in touch. But after a few sporadic phone calls, he stopped reaching out, and she was heartbroken.)
“I hate to say it,” I said, “but maybe he’s just not that into—” “No no!” she protested. “I know where you’re going with this and, HONESTLY, he was. He really was! I think I’m going to email him.”
Normally, I don’t think it’s a great idea to pour your guts out to a guy who isn’t calling. Boys know how phones work. If they want to reach you, they will. But she needed closure, so I gave her the green light. He already wasn’t talking to her, how much worse could it get? She sent him a simple, straight-forward email about how she was bummed... because she thought he was really interesting and special.
And you know what? He wrote back gushing about how much he agreed and hadn’t called because he worried she viewed him as just a vacation fling. He also said that he didn’t want to embarrass himself by putting his feelings out there, and was so happy that she had taken the first step.
Her theory is that the whole He’s Just Not That Into You movement prompted women to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble, when, really, guys get nervous too and it’s OK to give them some encouragement.
And after I read this entry that Miss J had sent me and we discussed over cocktails, I realized it sounded a lot like me and Miles.
Mancation Status: Stepping into the sunshine. Hopeful and optimistic.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Up in the Air
Barreling down the aisle with my suitcase banging into every other seats' edge, I eyeball my seat/row to see a gentleman already seated in my row - on the aisle no less, which is my seat of choice. I throw my bag and purse past him into the middle seat and say, "Hi, I'm here." Then I whip around to score an overhead space. He stands and asks, "Can I help you with you bag?" Too stubborn for my own good, I say nicely, "No, thank you, I got it." And with all my super human woman strength, I pick up my leopard luggage and throw it above my head laterally; however not being an inconsiderate person, I flipped it long so it could fit more suitcases. I then sat down in my seat and set up my station for the next 3 1/2 hours - iPod, laptop, bottle of water.
Once airborn, I took out my laptop to write this blog - ironically it was still very new in its phases and I was still working out the "kinks". The gentleman next to me kept quiet but I could sense he was watching me. Finally he asked, "What are you writing?" "A blog," I said kindly. "Really? What's it about?" he quickly said. Nervous about anyone knowing about my new blog, let alone admitting what it was about, I said coyly, "Uh, it's about dating actually." He asked a whole bunch of questions before I revealed the name of it: Mancation. That peaked his interest moreso and even matter-of-factly said, "I ask a lot of questions because I'm nosey like that because I just want to know."
Plane Guy with an E not an I - also known on my blog as Miles - broke this crabby traveler of solitude and silence by keeping my attention and the conversation flowing for the FULL flight. And even at the exchange of our dating horror stories, and some of my funny tales, this guy (knowing I wasn't dating) asked me to dinner in hopes he could learn more. I couldn't say no to an offer like that, even if it was against my 'mancation rules'. And if you have read or followed my blog from the beginnig, then you already know of the tale of Miles. Two dates - one in September (2 days after we met on our outbound flight) and one in October. Both were great dates. A lot of promise. A lot of great conversation, laughs, and kisses. But the reality of the situation always was that we live in two different cities, in two different states. There was a falling off point somewhere that was never and may never really be defined - and that's okay. But as a reader/follower, you then know that I hadn't forgotten about my travel companion and reached out to him back in June of this year in an email.
I quickly and carefully composed this email and then shut down my computer and went to bed. Upon waking I asked myself, "Was that a dream or did I send that?" Booting up my computer I saw that Miles had responded. I gasped without opening it. I went through every rational and irrational thought. "He's going to tell me to F off!" "He's going to not get why I emailed him at all." "Maybe he'll write a sentence as simple as thanks." "I can't read it! Go make some coffee." Came back to my computer with a cup of Joe in my hand and still stare at my inbox. Instead decide to jump in the shower. Hop out, again with my coffee and decide to rip it off like a band aid. "This is the only way you can know, Bradshaw, open it." If you've read "Remember the Miles..." post, then you know what he said.
What's the moral of the tale here? In life and dating you have to be brave. Brave to tell him what you want. Brave to put yourself out there. Brave to fall on your face. Brave to know what you want and aren't afraid to go after it. And if something feels or felt right that you feel wasn't resolved, be brave to put it into the universe that you want to see where the cards fall. Worse case scenario? Silence. Best case scenario? Well, the possibilities are endless...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
3-Date Fall Challenge
Oh, you're intrigued already? There's more to this "idea" or "theory".
If you've never read Cindy Chupack's "The Between Boyfriends Book" (she was also a writer on Sex and the City) then you need to read up on "Halloweenies" before I post.
The 3-Date Fall Challenge is on!
Here's how we break it down, us single girls that is. Los Angeles is full of singles, however not all of them are "available" in that we all are looking to be with someone we have a great time with, laugh with, have good chemistry with, but what gives? Why aren't we coupled up if we have so many options? I refuse to admit that LA has it the worse when it comes to dating. Now that me and my girlfriends are in our thirties, do we suddenly have to appoach dating different in hopes for different results? The Trifecta discussed and we need to come up with a new objective: The 3-Date Challenge.
Here's the deal, three dates before Halloween. Why? Because if you don't lock it in before Halloween, then Thanksgiving is apporaching and that's when you face the fall-off (guys decide not to commit because they can't commit to the holiday round up - meals with family or friends for Thanksgiving, Xmas with family or friends and then it's New Years. Oh the pressure! All the family and quality time with loved ones, apparently is too much for most guys - not all let me add. Oh you think 3 dates before Halloween is a breeze??????? Well my friend, fellow reader, let me add to the pot, must be 3 dates with the SAME guy before Halloween. Do you fold? Or do you throw in another chip??
Ah, so you up for the challenge? Awesome. So far Miss J was the only one with the luck. KGB went out once with Hottie Bartender, and even after our Trifecta affect, well she never heard from him again. And me, well Mac already had shown me his cards -but talked like he was ready to enter back into the dating world - but alas, just a middle-aged man who is content with where life has led him. Good for him and all, I mean when I ran into him a couple of weeks ago, all I could do was hug him hello, tell him that it was nice to see him (though it wasn't cause at that moment it had been 10 days without a call back, let alone a first date). I am happy I stood my ground to not go there cause I am looking for a guy who can give me what I am looking for. So back to Miss J - and Lumberjack. First date went well that it lasted about 12 hours! Second date, when that finaly happened was anotehr extend-a-date and seemed like she was going to lock in date #3 until she was left wondering when the hell that would happen. Still waiting...
And here's what we (us women) know about date #3 - it's the gateway of what's to come so why do guys fear it? Again, let me add not all guys are afraid, just most. But you do know us women sit around and dicuss this kind of stuff when it comes to dating and can't help but wonder what's all the drama? If you like us, just land the 3rd date. We can figure out the rest as it comes!!
If you've never read Cindy Chupack's "The Between Boyfriends Book" (she was also a writer on Sex and the City) then you need to read up on "Halloweenies" before I post.
Here's how we break it down, us single girls that is. Los Angeles is full of singles, however not all of them are "available" in that we all are looking to be with someone we have a great time with, laugh with, have good chemistry with, but what gives? Why aren't we coupled up if we have so many options? I refuse to admit that LA has it the worse when it comes to dating. Now that me and my girlfriends are in our thirties, do we suddenly have to appoach dating different in hopes for different results? The Trifecta discussed and we need to come up with a new objective: The 3-Date Challenge.
Here's the deal, three dates before Halloween. Why? Because if you don't lock it in before Halloween, then Thanksgiving is apporaching and that's when you face the fall-off (guys decide not to commit because they can't commit to the holiday round up - meals with family or friends for Thanksgiving, Xmas with family or friends and then it's New Years. Oh the pressure! All the family and quality time with loved ones, apparently is too much for most guys - not all let me add. Oh you think 3 dates before Halloween is a breeze??????? Well my friend, fellow reader, let me add to the pot, must be 3 dates with the SAME guy before Halloween. Do you fold? Or do you throw in another chip??
Ah, so you up for the challenge? Awesome. So far Miss J was the only one with the luck. KGB went out once with Hottie Bartender, and even after our Trifecta affect, well she never heard from him again. And me, well Mac already had shown me his cards -but talked like he was ready to enter back into the dating world - but alas, just a middle-aged man who is content with where life has led him. Good for him and all, I mean when I ran into him a couple of weeks ago, all I could do was hug him hello, tell him that it was nice to see him (though it wasn't cause at that moment it had been 10 days without a call back, let alone a first date). I am happy I stood my ground to not go there cause I am looking for a guy who can give me what I am looking for. So back to Miss J - and Lumberjack. First date went well that it lasted about 12 hours! Second date, when that finaly happened was anotehr extend-a-date and seemed like she was going to lock in date #3 until she was left wondering when the hell that would happen. Still waiting...
And here's what we (us women) know about date #3 - it's the gateway of what's to come so why do guys fear it? Again, let me add not all guys are afraid, just most. But you do know us women sit around and dicuss this kind of stuff when it comes to dating and can't help but wonder what's all the drama? If you like us, just land the 3rd date. We can figure out the rest as it comes!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Mario, the Rerun
Remember Mario? He's the cutie I had met out on Halloween, only to date for about a month, and he fell off the planet right around Thanksgiving (standard Halloweenie, more on that later). I liked Mario and always had a great time with him, I remembered, until that time I ran into about a month after his disappearance the night of the "incident" at my local watering hole (if you need a refresher, check out Blog Worthy from December).
A substantial amount of time has passed, and Mario and I have kept in touch base throughout via FB mainly, occasionally text. Our initial re-contact went a little something like this: he asked if I had any good adventures lately? I quipped, "Since running into you last, not quite as adventurous." "agghh. i'm really really sorry," he types. I told him that it was interesting to say the least but that I liked him and all but circumstances were as they fell - out - quickly. He tells me that he's been meaning to write to me about the whole 'incident' but that he guesses he avoided me because he didn't want anything serious but really liked hanging out. That the night we met was "really special and fun" and that he really hoped we could be friends cause he 'likes me a lot" and again, that he was really sorry. I told him that I knew that's why he behaved the way he did but we could have just talked bout it but instead he vanished - which is the whole reason I blog to begin with, the vanishing act. He went on to tell me that the whole next day he kept saying, "God, I'm such an asshole. I feel like such a jerk!" I told him that I was glad to know he had a conscious. I too, told him that I hoped we could be friend as I too, enjoyed his company but that it was going to take some time.
Now, I guess that was closure, for both of us. I believe subconsciously, he behaved the way he did that run-in night because he was trying to paint a clear picture. Message received. It felt good to tell him that he acted like an asshole and I'm glad he felt badly for being an asshole. Other than that chat, he would leave comments on FB page or we'd text when something reminded us of an inside joke we had (yes you can have inside jokes after 6 dates). Here's the moral of the Mario tale, he's a Good Time Charlie (like how my mom referenced Biggie), someone to have fun with and fun to be around but that's it. GTC doesn't settle down. GTC aqates fun without having to be serious...
A substantial amount of time has passed, and Mario and I have kept in touch base throughout via FB mainly, occasionally text. Our initial re-contact went a little something like this: he asked if I had any good adventures lately? I quipped, "Since running into you last, not quite as adventurous." "agghh. i'm really really sorry," he types. I told him that it was interesting to say the least but that I liked him and all but circumstances were as they fell - out - quickly. He tells me that he's been meaning to write to me about the whole 'incident' but that he guesses he avoided me because he didn't want anything serious but really liked hanging out. That the night we met was "really special and fun" and that he really hoped we could be friends cause he 'likes me a lot" and again, that he was really sorry. I told him that I knew that's why he behaved the way he did but we could have just talked bout it but instead he vanished - which is the whole reason I blog to begin with, the vanishing act. He went on to tell me that the whole next day he kept saying, "God, I'm such an asshole. I feel like such a jerk!" I told him that I was glad to know he had a conscious. I too, told him that I hoped we could be friend as I too, enjoyed his company but that it was going to take some time.
Now, I guess that was closure, for both of us. I believe subconsciously, he behaved the way he did that run-in night because he was trying to paint a clear picture. Message received. It felt good to tell him that he acted like an asshole and I'm glad he felt badly for being an asshole. Other than that chat, he would leave comments on FB page or we'd text when something reminded us of an inside joke we had (yes you can have inside jokes after 6 dates). Here's the moral of the Mario tale, he's a Good Time Charlie (like how my mom referenced Biggie), someone to have fun with and fun to be around but that's it. GTC doesn't settle down. GTC aqates fun without having to be serious...
Now that your caught up to speed on what went down with (not so super) Mario, you, the reader, now know we are on good terms. Catching up one night, it was suggested watching our two teams play the pre-season game. I thought, why not? If anything, we sit, drink, laugh and watch one of our teams lose. I accepted the invitation with weeks to go. The week leading up he would text and trash talk my team and suggested that I come to the Westside so he could "show me what the westside is all about." He even suggested me coming down early so we can ride bikes by the beach. On a hot Saturday afternoon, I would have done anything to be out enjoying the weather, and hopefully the company that I was keeping.
What I didn't expect was the marathon of what I call the Extend-a-not-date: an appointment for a particular time; a social engagement, or occasion arrangedbeforehand with another person - in which a person is NOT picked up by the other person's mode of transportation, nor are you sure of the romantic intensions or lack there of.
Saturday - game day - we agreed to meet at his apt. around 4 (game was at 530). Traffic was horrible and parking was a bitch. We jump up on his bikes and ride to bar 1, which was closed. I almost wipe out (cause I think I was 12 the last time I rode a bike, voluntarily or recreationally), however managed to jump off somehow sparing myself any bodily harm. He was very sweet to look back and ask repeatedly if I was okay as we rode to bar 2. Mario kept commenting on how impressed he was with me getting away with not hurting myself. Bar 2 now was not airing the game so we left and went to bar 3 on 3rd, apparnently a regular spot for him. We attempted again to get the game on but no one was airing the live feed. We decided to stay and have apps and drinks anyway. Then we took the bikes down the Pier where we hit the arcade. We stopped by the Mexican restaurant at the very end of the pier to have margararitas, which were delcious, made wishes into the bucket that hangs above the ocean, found the final score of the game to 32-17 (not in favor of my team), and Mario had the 3 man band serenade me, his "esposa" (which means wife is Spanish). The band was great but I laughed it off. We walked up the pier with his arm around me, and then once again on the bikes went to a tapas bar where we each had a glass of wine and a plate of tapas which was delicious, then hopped back on our bikes to bar 3 for karaoke. We each sang our staple -go-to song, his "Hard to Handle" and mine "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". We quickly made friends with everyone, especially the couple near by who were helluva pair of singers and they thought we were good?! We could have left by 10:30 but decided to stay for one my round of singing, and one more beer. That time I debuted "I Hate Myself for Loving You," and he did "Suspiscious Minds" for me. We both rocked it, at least in our minds, and judging by the applause of the bar. We were like rockstars. And we danced in-between songs, and Mario doesn't dance, but we danced like it was going out of style. He's a fun guy (GTC). We laugh a lot and laugh often. We left shortly after our last song and headed back to his apartment. We were supposed to walk the bikes but half way there he said we were okay to ride, well he fell and scraped up his back and me the novice, is virtually unarmed. I crashed there but don't get the wrong idea...
 |
A little overserved before karaoke round two! |
Sunday - decided to go for breakfast near Venice. Back on the bikes and into the sun in my clothes from the night before. Breakfast was delicious. He wanted to go to the Farmers Market quickly to pick up some groceries and then ride farther into Venice but was hungover so we stopped for bloody Mary's at an Irish bar I had been too before only to discover they were re-airing the game, so we stayed for a couple and just nustled into the booth together. After the game had begin replaying for the second time, we hopped back on the bikes and rode from there all the way back to his place by way of the beach/pier and it was nice. I thought to myself, I never do this, the weather's perfect, this is great. Though it was hot, I was still enjoying the day and company. I realized that I had been with this guy who I am not romantically into or interested in for 24 hours and had to flee. Let's make it less awkward and let me do the man-thing and just get-out-while-I-can. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, thanked him and left. It took me forever to get home and upon returning home, I text him when I got home to -again- thank him and tell him I had a great time. He replied with "I had a blast!"
SUMMARY: Again, GTC! I know he's someone you have fun with, but not settle down with - though I got the sense he's maybe looking. He's cool, funny and a gentleman - at least the past 2 days he was. Will I see him again? Dont' know. Actually, I know I won't. Do I want to see him again? Don't know, what's the point? The things that worked and didn't work before are the same things that work and don't work now. I needed a fun night out and I got it! I'm not looking for a Good Time Charlie, I'm looking for more than that!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Trifecta - revisited
I still totally believe in this power of 3s, however it has not worked for either of us with the guy in question and perhaps that's a good thing. It works in that you suss it out to know already it's a waste of time.
Miss J never heard from HDG again but met an even HOTTER guy that next weekend. I approve. They've already gone out on a date and I'm hoping she hears from him again and soon! H-O-T!
KGB and me and Miss J did our Trifecta on the hotter bartender, only to have a good time but no vibe was clear on the jury. She hasn't heard from him. Humph.
And as for me, I left that message for Mac one week ago. One. Week. Ago. This is the guy who would call me and leave me sweet messages or try to make plans only not to deliver. I lost interest. You're too old to play at what you're playing at. Yes, there very well could be someone else in the mix, or he's just lazy, and I have put myself out there to you and now I'm retracting; ship has sailed.
NEXT....the Challenge
Miss J never heard from HDG again but met an even HOTTER guy that next weekend. I approve. They've already gone out on a date and I'm hoping she hears from him again and soon! H-O-T!
KGB and me and Miss J did our Trifecta on the hotter bartender, only to have a good time but no vibe was clear on the jury. She hasn't heard from him. Humph.
NEXT....the Challenge
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Trifecta!
Meaning: term used to describe a situation when three elements come together at the same time.
So I ask, do women (now) have to be the aggressive ones? Okay, maybe we don't HAVE to be the aggressive ones but apparently there are other women who make it easy for guys to get away with lazy behavior so they don't think they have to pursue us. That also goes for the technology era we're in. I keep asking, whatever happened to the phone call?? This was a topic heavily covered by the ladies this past weekend. The reason we asked this was because we're getting older (my friends are all now officially in their 30s) and we don't have the time, or should I say patience to play the game (or games) .
TRIFECTA was born - three elements, in this case friends, come together at the same time to stage a bit of a hottie intervention to suss the situation out. Not in a crazy girl way but a cool, I'm out with my friends, funny seeing you kind of way.
Situation 1: Miss J had been out with all of us the weekend before and Hottie Door Guy (HDG) - upon us leaving- gave her his number. Miss J was taken aback, as we women often are when we miss you're (guys) oh-so-subtle-you-could-miss those clues. Synopsis - by the time they met up for drinks, HDG was a drag, a bore, a yawn, all wrapped up in a beautifully deceiving man package. Upon my encouragement, and a few others, a second date/chance was in order to really judge. First "dates" are weird. Second dates get everything out that you didn't cover in your initial what-do-I-really-know-about-you-that-we-could-see-this-going anywhere?
At happy hour, Me and KGB (newest addition to the blog) suggested we stop by the bar he bounces. Miss J wondered what would he say? How would he react? We thought, what the hell else you got to lose? (Mind you, me and KGB had been at happy hour a good one hour of happy before Miss J did not sway our decision in anyway). We also decided, women need to empower women. We can sit around and bitch about it or we can walk right up and ask if there's a table available. We did both that night ;) Upon arrival, Miss J asked, "What do I say?" I told her, "Simple. They wanted a Burger," which we TOTALLY did. But all-in-all he was boring as she said. Why wouldn't the guy glued to his crackberry be texting cute things to my girl out of his sight line inside? Miss J didn't expect to hear from him again, and hasn't as -of -date.
Situation 2: KGB met hottie bartender on Sunset and went out with him once. A couple of text messages and emails and then silence... she wanted that second date. So girl empowerment decided we'd go there (the bar he bartends) for happy hour this week to stage an hottie intervention to see if there's anything there worth pining after....stay tuned.
Situation 3: And me, maybe I'm being a foo but better the fool to fall on her face than to cover it. Mac last called on Friday, I called him on Saturday to invite him out for a drink with all of us (since he apparently works better in groups) and hadn't heard back. It's Tuesday, feeling aggressive, I call. Of course I get his voicemail. Okay, Bradshaw, keep it cool and brief. "Hey, I just got home from work and thought I'd call and say hi and see if I could get a hold of you. (laugh); apparently not so I'm talking to your vm instead. Just curious if you're available this week to catch a drink or something. Let me know." It felt good to put myself out there, even in the event it doesn't produce any or any immediate results, I did it; so there!!
Meanwhile, they say things happen in THREE'S....
So I ask, do women (now) have to be the aggressive ones? Okay, maybe we don't HAVE to be the aggressive ones but apparently there are other women who make it easy for guys to get away with lazy behavior so they don't think they have to pursue us. That also goes for the technology era we're in. I keep asking, whatever happened to the phone call?? This was a topic heavily covered by the ladies this past weekend. The reason we asked this was because we're getting older (my friends are all now officially in their 30s) and we don't have the time, or should I say patience to play the game (or games) .
TRIFECTA was born - three elements, in this case friends, come together at the same time to stage a bit of a hottie intervention to suss the situation out. Not in a crazy girl way but a cool, I'm out with my friends, funny seeing you kind of way.
Situation 1: Miss J had been out with all of us the weekend before and Hottie Door Guy (HDG) - upon us leaving- gave her his number. Miss J was taken aback, as we women often are when we miss you're (guys) oh-so-subtle-you-could-miss those clues. Synopsis - by the time they met up for drinks, HDG was a drag, a bore, a yawn, all wrapped up in a beautifully deceiving man package. Upon my encouragement, and a few others, a second date/chance was in order to really judge. First "dates" are weird. Second dates get everything out that you didn't cover in your initial what-do-I-really-know-about-you-that-we-could-see-this-going anywhere?
At happy hour, Me and KGB (newest addition to the blog) suggested we stop by the bar he bounces. Miss J wondered what would he say? How would he react? We thought, what the hell else you got to lose? (Mind you, me and KGB had been at happy hour a good one hour of happy before Miss J did not sway our decision in anyway). We also decided, women need to empower women. We can sit around and bitch about it or we can walk right up and ask if there's a table available. We did both that night ;) Upon arrival, Miss J asked, "What do I say?" I told her, "Simple. They wanted a Burger," which we TOTALLY did. But all-in-all he was boring as she said. Why wouldn't the guy glued to his crackberry be texting cute things to my girl out of his sight line inside? Miss J didn't expect to hear from him again, and hasn't as -of -date.
Situation 2: KGB met hottie bartender on Sunset and went out with him once. A couple of text messages and emails and then silence... she wanted that second date. So girl empowerment decided we'd go there (the bar he bartends) for happy hour this week to stage an hottie intervention to see if there's anything there worth pining after....stay tuned.
Situation 3: And me, maybe I'm being a foo but better the fool to fall on her face than to cover it. Mac last called on Friday, I called him on Saturday to invite him out for a drink with all of us (since he apparently works better in groups) and hadn't heard back. It's Tuesday, feeling aggressive, I call. Of course I get his voicemail. Okay, Bradshaw, keep it cool and brief. "Hey, I just got home from work and thought I'd call and say hi and see if I could get a hold of you. (laugh); apparently not so I'm talking to your vm instead. Just curious if you're available this week to catch a drink or something. Let me know." It felt good to put myself out there, even in the event it doesn't produce any or any immediate results, I did it; so there!!
Meanwhile, they say things happen in THREE'S....
Monday, August 16, 2010
Valley Barry
I know I have not written about Valley Barry. VB is a friend of Miss J's withwhom she worked with previously. When me and my girls venture out locally in the hood, we tended to run into Valley Barry - a lot! Seemingly cool guy with a big, voiceover voice. One particular night running into VB, all of my girls were chatting up some guy, and I was talking to Valley Barry. VB is a nice guy and we exchanged dating stories and whatnots. I had an extra glass of wine or two and we ended up kissing. (I don't have much memory or how that happened nor why) but he did ask for my number. I was open to going on a date with him as he had asked for my number for that reason.
A week later, Trifecta coming into affect, it was Miss J's birthday. Valley Barry was there, however let me give you the backstory of what or why not that's a big deal - HE NEVER CALLED! One week after the drunken last-call kiss, he never called. In the week that had passed, I grew over it cause I wasn't that into it. When he showed, I happened to be standing near the door. We're all adults so it's not going to turn into some scene. "Wow, Bradshaw, you look great!" he said to me before heading to the bar. I said thank you and smiled politely and went about co-hosting. He turned into creepy guy staring at me from across the room all night. Or lurking about hoping to squeeze into a conversation I was having with the fellow party guests. When that opportunity came about he says, "Bradshaw, hey! I would love to buy you a drink." I said very politely, "Thank you but I just closed my tab and actually I'm leaving."
Upon me leaving, Valley Barry pulled Miss J aside and asked, "Does Bradshaw not like me?" And Miss J not to hold back says matter of factly "You didn't call." He looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about. You work up the courage to ask for a girls number and then not use it. What gives? He gave her some sob sotry of how he "wanted to call but..." and th ereality of hte situation - for both men and women alike- if you are interested in someone, NOTHING holds you back from making contact. We're all business with work and other stuff. That just shouldn't be the factor holding you back but rather is what's holding you back in the dating world. He told Miss J that he was sorry and she told him that he then owed me the apology for being such a baby, if he liked me.
I did receive a phone call the next day and I let it go to voicemail. There was no apology in that voicemail just "Hey it's Valley Barry, great to see you last night. Listen, give me a call if you want and I hope to hear from you." Fail. Miss J had filled me in on the conversation after I received that voicemail and I told her that I was glad she set him straight but I lost interest.
One night when the Trifecta was out, we were seated at one of our usual haunts and Miss J says like a ventriloquist, "Barry's here. Don't look." Shit, I thought. I don't want to see this guy but it's inevitably since we were back at the scene of the crime (the location where he had asked for my number). I kept my back facing him until the bartender sets two glasses down in front of us and says, "That guy at the end of the bar would like to buy you ladies your next round." Now, sure that's like out of a movie, too bad it was Valley Barry that was the buyer. We were forced to turn and wave and say hi. He looked surprised like he didn't know I was seated next to Jennie. Come on!
Valley Barry makes hsi way over and we make small talk. When Miss J struck up a convo with the babe seated next to her (Lumberjack), I was left talking to VB. He says, "You never called?" "No, I didn't," I said matter of factly. And when he questioned as to why I went on to tell him that I was just going to be honest. "Yes, you called, a week after you got my number and saw me a week after you got my number." "Well, work was this and that...." and I said, "Come on, I have known you for a short time but in that short amount of time you always are on your phone, have your phone out, etc. So there really is no excuse as to why you didn't use it to make some sort of contact with me, and that's the reality." He looked at me dumbfounded. I said, "I'm not trying to make this any more awkward because we have mutual friends and I know we're going to run into each other so I just want to clear the air. You're a nice guy but it's not going to happen." He asks, "Well can I take you to dinner to make it up to you?" "No," I answered immediately. He says, "No. Wow. no?" I said, "Again, I'm trying to be honest but polite, I lost interest."
Don't you think a woman, if given the opportunity to tell a guy what he did wrong if that chance was given to you? How do guys learn? I mean, and this is another blog to come, they're getting the wrong dating advice from somewhere....why not get it from the horse's mouth.
A week later, Trifecta coming into affect, it was Miss J's birthday. Valley Barry was there, however let me give you the backstory of what or why not that's a big deal - HE NEVER CALLED! One week after the drunken last-call kiss, he never called. In the week that had passed, I grew over it cause I wasn't that into it. When he showed, I happened to be standing near the door. We're all adults so it's not going to turn into some scene. "Wow, Bradshaw, you look great!" he said to me before heading to the bar. I said thank you and smiled politely and went about co-hosting. He turned into creepy guy staring at me from across the room all night. Or lurking about hoping to squeeze into a conversation I was having with the fellow party guests. When that opportunity came about he says, "Bradshaw, hey! I would love to buy you a drink." I said very politely, "Thank you but I just closed my tab and actually I'm leaving."
Upon me leaving, Valley Barry pulled Miss J aside and asked, "Does Bradshaw not like me?" And Miss J not to hold back says matter of factly "You didn't call." He looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about. You work up the courage to ask for a girls number and then not use it. What gives? He gave her some sob sotry of how he "wanted to call but..." and th ereality of hte situation - for both men and women alike- if you are interested in someone, NOTHING holds you back from making contact. We're all business with work and other stuff. That just shouldn't be the factor holding you back but rather is what's holding you back in the dating world. He told Miss J that he was sorry and she told him that he then owed me the apology for being such a baby, if he liked me.
I did receive a phone call the next day and I let it go to voicemail. There was no apology in that voicemail just "Hey it's Valley Barry, great to see you last night. Listen, give me a call if you want and I hope to hear from you." Fail. Miss J had filled me in on the conversation after I received that voicemail and I told her that I was glad she set him straight but I lost interest.
One night when the Trifecta was out, we were seated at one of our usual haunts and Miss J says like a ventriloquist, "Barry's here. Don't look." Shit, I thought. I don't want to see this guy but it's inevitably since we were back at the scene of the crime (the location where he had asked for my number). I kept my back facing him until the bartender sets two glasses down in front of us and says, "That guy at the end of the bar would like to buy you ladies your next round." Now, sure that's like out of a movie, too bad it was Valley Barry that was the buyer. We were forced to turn and wave and say hi. He looked surprised like he didn't know I was seated next to Jennie. Come on!
Valley Barry makes hsi way over and we make small talk. When Miss J struck up a convo with the babe seated next to her (Lumberjack), I was left talking to VB. He says, "You never called?" "No, I didn't," I said matter of factly. And when he questioned as to why I went on to tell him that I was just going to be honest. "Yes, you called, a week after you got my number and saw me a week after you got my number." "Well, work was this and that...." and I said, "Come on, I have known you for a short time but in that short amount of time you always are on your phone, have your phone out, etc. So there really is no excuse as to why you didn't use it to make some sort of contact with me, and that's the reality." He looked at me dumbfounded. I said, "I'm not trying to make this any more awkward because we have mutual friends and I know we're going to run into each other so I just want to clear the air. You're a nice guy but it's not going to happen." He asks, "Well can I take you to dinner to make it up to you?" "No," I answered immediately. He says, "No. Wow. no?" I said, "Again, I'm trying to be honest but polite, I lost interest."
Don't you think a woman, if given the opportunity to tell a guy what he did wrong if that chance was given to you? How do guys learn? I mean, and this is another blog to come, they're getting the wrong dating advice from somewhere....why not get it from the horse's mouth.
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