Coming Soon!

More potential stories on their way...

Also, know this, I am taking this Mancation in stride. They happened before and during Mancation status. I am making this up as I go and figuring things out along the way. Join me, won't you?

Why He Doesn’t Call Back: Because It’s Easy

We all wonder about this ever fascinatingly frustrating mystery..

Are we doing one another favors by just not calling back or ignoring the call? Women get frustrated by the fact men disappear and pull this kind of maneuver. However, I can’t help but believe guys go through their version of this. I, myself, am guilty of seeing the phone ring and turning a blind eye. I’m woman enough to admit that. I've also run into certain people calling to show they're interested, don’t eave a voicemail. Just because you called numerous times doesn't mean the tally of missed calls equals a callback. Now I'm just thinking WTF?! And if she doesn't call you back - ever- then she's doing what most of us do (or have done) to have that easy out - not that it makes it right, but somehow we're sparing people's feelings one missed call at a time.

Viewer Mail

So I’m reading your blog, which I check occasionally as a nice break, and, based on your stories, I have to wonder, are you a bad kisser and I didn’t catch it?!?

NO I THINK I’M A GREAT KISSER BUT "THEY" DON’T KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW THROUGH. YOU TOLD ME YORUSELF I WAS A GOOD KISSER UNLESS THAT WASN’T TRUE?

Every time you kiss a guy it’s like the kiss of death! (seriously, you do realize guys want to break your Mancation, just like they want to deflower a virgin lass...that’s mean of me to say, is it?)

NOT TAKEN AS MEAN, STUNG A LITTLE BIT. HAVE I SCARED YOU OFF??

I was a big fan – that’s why I followed up! That and the fact that I find you really funny –almost as funny as me!

YAY. I HAVE A FAN! AND I DO REALIZE MANCATION POSES A CHALLENGE TO SOME. IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE ‘MANUP’ PART OF IT. WAY TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

It’s nice to be acknowledged for my efforts – my first pat on the butt from couple thousand miles. 

** That being questioned, it was also a precursor to see me when he came to town the next week. 

Misconception of Mancation

There seems to be confusion on what ‘Mancation’ means. I already defined it as a break in clear terms: A time to reflect and/or frankly hold out for someone who is worthy.

In talking with a gf of mine since 7th grade today, I said to her in some mentioning of my blog, that I have to give co-credit to my partner in crime Miss J. Both of us, who have been SEVERELY duped by the male species, while once upon a time we were one another’s confidents to make sure we never “got too girly,” suddenly were those who didn’t know anything at all. Mancation can also be defined as a time when guys go AWOL, perhaps on their own Mancation with their ‘bros without hoes,’ never knowing that it’s bizarre to us women that you never call, never live up to the man you state you are, or that you call or text or email after like months of nada. No explanation. No word. Nothing. And suddenly you think its okay to just pick up the phone (text/email) or in person act like nothing happened (or that it is wrong to act any other way than that)?

Most women reading this know what the F I’m talking about. Any man reading this who thinks he is not guilty, scratches his head and says, “What’s the big deal?” or “I was working that weekend?” or any variation or such. The other woman you were seeing, the ditch you fell in, the fact that you phone battery died and you couldn’t dial me is irrelevant in comparison to the lengths and measures you went through not to call, and/or come up with that dumbass story. I could cry “He’s Just Not That into You” here but I refuse to. (While I admire Greg Behrendt, and he’s a super nice, good guy upon meeting, he wrote a book about not making excuses any more for men when in my opinion, it was just another excuse for women -in book form). Just another excuse for them to read another self-help book, or as of late, run to the theatres to see the dreamy cast (and Greg himself as the priest) in the movie version.

Sidebar: Me and Miss J saw it together opening night just cause and elbowed each other whole time –between huffs and grunts of the annoying women and gays around us pointing fingers as to which friend was which in the movie version. Thank god we had cocktails before hand, seeing that movie sober would have made me madder.

In the beginning of my Mancation launch, guys thought it was a niche or didn’t understand why a woman in her early 30’s would do such a thing to herself. There’s a purpose. I’ve been in great relationships and I’ve wasted a lot of time of guys who aren’t/weren't worth a damn. I finally snapped out of it upon learning a guy who I thought was the bee’s knees, wasn’t. He was like the rest. Mancation! And though that was now about 3-4 months since the downfall or rise of Mancation, it’s opened my blue eyes bigger. What’s looming in my heart is ready to implode and I want to unleash (sounds vampire-esque) that on someone who is worthy. However, creating Mancation, again, came from a man disappearing or becoming someone we no longer know - or see.

Guys see it as a challenge, sure. I had a man ask me just the other night. Yes, I know it’s a challenge and if he’s right, I hope he’s ready to take it. I didn’t set out to know what the outcome or rules would be but they become all the more clear as the days progress. It’s been 3 months since my declaration. I’ve never been happier and prepare to continue...

When explained to the logical man about what this "is"…and/or sets out to accomplish, I’ve discovered men become frustrated by heir own species and why they behave or say the things they do. They finally get why, perhaps, someone like me would want to take a break. It becomes a joke after a while and I don’t always want the funny, I want the kind too.

Not a Bad Idea to Google Your Date?

I went to an engagement party a few weeks ago and was sitting around chatting with Miss J's co-workers. She was explaining the idea behind Mancation and you know girls react with their horror stories of dating...in whichever state you may live.

This woman was telling me a story about a doctor she met. They went out a couple of times but she became suspicious of stories he told and what exactly was going on at work. She regularly checks out a gossip website and much to her surprise on this given day, she was found herself reading a story about...the doctor!

To protect Dr. Guilty, and those involved, I have done some creative editing of the story for your own shock and awe! 

A man was rushed to the hospital for heart problems. An ER doc, Dr. Guilty, allegedly allowed the man to die from a heart attack after he noticed his pretty Rolex on his wrist. Two nurses reportedly noticed the watch was missing from the body, and that a bulge appeared in the doctor’s pocket, and reported the missing watch to security. The lawsuit claims Dr. Guilty somehow slipped outside the hospital and was caught on the hospital’s security cameras. A nurse allegedly witnessed him throw something from his pocket into a grassy area of the parking lot. Dr. Guilty was apparently confronted with the hospital’s security footage and was fired on the spot.

The civil lawsuit charges Dr. Guilty for wrongful death, conspiracy...to name a couple, and also claims the hospital tried to cover up the ER doc’s crime after he was fired. Dr. Guilty was also reportedly indicted by a grand jury...

The craziest thing I remember from her re-telling me this that Friday evening, was that Dr. Guilty even called her the day of his court hearing! It goes to show you never know what a guy is capable of or what they are hiding. A woman's intuition perhaps is never wrong... 

Unagi...in Person

Thursday I was heading into the valley for a friend's birthday drinks. Ex Factor texts me “At Peal Jam”. I say, "Cool, have fun, safe travels back." I wrap up my drinks w/ my friends and head home. I start working and my phone beeps. It's him, "Firefly..." Now the weekend before he had texted me that and I didn't know that he was inviting me there." I say, "Is that an invitation this time?" He says, "We're heading there now, let's go!" I decide to change back into my going out clothes and drive back to the valley. Keep in mind the whole time I’m driving there I’m repeating to myself “Why am I going?” Upon exiting my car and knowing I look as good as I can and will stick to my boundaries, I walk in the door and he's the first person you see. He flips around and leaps up to practically tackle me. Then says that's not the entrance he wanted and could I re-enter. As an actor, I obliged. I agreed to only have 1 drink and get the F out of there. He's hugging on me and telling me how great I look. Loves my dark hair but he's "always been partial to brunettes." Really? I was blonde when he met me and his current GF that he's moving in with is blonde. He's still the jolly man I knew. But he was the same guy in that he doesn't really take care of himself. He had a full beard, shaggy long hair, wearing some trucker hat and a flannel. Hasn't evolved much. His friends leave and then he looks at me. I say, "I'll drop you off, it's on my way home." We get in my car and he's like "Am I really here with you? In your car? This is great!" We stop by 7-11 to pick up some water for him while he packs cause he hasn’t' packed everything...again leaving things until the 11th hour (like in meeting me the night before he leaves). He asks me to come take a look to assess the situation and see if need anything.

Parking the car and walking up to his apartment was like not one day had passed. He opened the gate and walked the path of the pool like we had 4 years prior without a flinch, without a thought. Sense memory or repetition had taken over. Just walking the path to his apartment was tripping me out. It smelled the same from what I remember. He had the curtains and shower curtain I hung with him still up. I agree to help him for an hour, but all I did was pull out his posters from their frames and roll them up into canisters. I did them all in an hour and he was like 'Why does time fly with you and with everyone else it just ticks by?" I was very strong and kept my boundaries despite him making comments here and there and when I'd ask him about his GF, he would clam up. At one point he tackles me to the ground, and spooned up on me says, "I love you. It's been great seeing you." He kicks into high gear of packing mode, and I just want to get out. He walks me to my car like he used to and we kiss each other on the cheeks. He says, "Please keep me posted on everything going on with you." Then comes face to face with me without touching and air kisses me - technically that is not a kiss and you won't get in trouble with your GF.

I can't help but feel sorry for her, you know her. I don’t know what kind of number this guy is going to do on her or if it was just his last ditch effort to say good bye to his life here while he goes to settle down with her. She had the life I thought I wanted but he hasn't changed, which is good and bad. I didn't get hurt by it cause I was in a good (and a little bad) place but it did show me how far I've come. I had to say good bye despite whatever reason. Even the drive there to meet him I was saying out loud "Why am I going? … Because I have to."

Man Date: BEACH 
Glad I went. I knew I was over him but it made me anxious to meet the better next option. I’m never cynical, always the optimist.

Unagi

Ex Factor = Unagi!

When my ex of more than 4 years ago phoned me out of the clear blue sky, I thought it was odd.  When I told my girlfriends, well you saw judging by my earlier post – danger!   That was a Tuesday and no word from him since that phone call.  I had texted him earlier in the day to ask how long he was in LA for, which I knew was asking for trouble – presumably.  He texted back around midnight “At Firefly.”  I say, “Cool, have a great night.” 

I talked to him tonight. He says, “Sounded like you were in for the night last night.”  I said, “Yeah I was, why that text was an invitation?” He says, “Well, I had a couple of drinks so I guess it was.”  Hmm.  Thank god I didn’t go cause it would have been DANGER judging on the phone call. 

We catch up about how fabulous my life is and how happy I am.  He’s laughing cause he’s packing up his life here to ‘move forward’ with his lady is SC.  Great.  Awesome.  I mention that I need to move and he says “you could move into my place.”  “Oh yeah, what’s the rent.”  He tells me and I say, “Not bad but weird.”  He laughs.  He’s lying on the floor after having sold or given away most of his furniture and I joke, “So you don’t have a bed, what are you sleep bagging it?” He laughs and says, “more or less unless you’re offering up your bed.” I clear my throat and say, “No.” He says, “Ha, you cleared your throat, I guess it’s that weird think you mentioned before.” I said sternly, “Yes, I don’t think your GF would like that.” He mumbles and giggles and I ask what that’s about.  He says, “Just daydreaming a bit.  I remember your apartment” then goes into this tale from many moons ago about my crazy neighbor who used to have LOUD-ass sex against my head alluding that we used to try to compete (which wasn’t factual).  Another clearing of the throat and he says, “I’m ready to take a cab over to Hollywood.”  Uh?

So first the alleged invite to meet him out to a bar and now inviting himself to my bed with us both knowing the real situation – you have a GF with whom you’re moving forward with but yet your fantasizing about me, the ghost from your past. I always believed this sort of thing happened before men take the plunge but never experienced it first hand if that is, in fact, what is going on in his man-child mind.  After the 30 minute check-up, I hung up the phone and couldn’t believe it.  Like out of a movie or TV show (like Sex and the City), I am fortunate that my city gals have my back and shake me to reality.  If he were single would the situation be any different or would I still be in danger?